


Darkness & Grief

by imjustmyself



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! GX
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Death, Dark, M/M, Self-Hatred, Takes place during season 3, Unresolved Feelings, at least for gx, judai just hates himself and wallows in self pity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:07:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28897893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imjustmyself/pseuds/imjustmyself
Summary: Judai tried and failed. Everyone died because of him.But the other voice inside of him seemingly offered a way out.orJudai spends his time grieving over his friends' death and the boy he cares about the most. The Supreme King uses all of it to his advantage.A piece between the duel with Brron and finding out Judai is the Supreme King.
Relationships: Johan Andersen | Jesse Anderson/Yuuki Juudai | Jaden Yuki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	Darkness & Grief

**Author's Note:**

> Back here posting about GX after months of being MIA lol.
> 
> So this story came to me while I was watching GX (again). I noticed how, even though we apparently see Judai being controlled by the Supreme King completely right after Brron's duel, Jim let's us see there was a time in which Judai was still himself even if he was just broken beyond recognition. We see it when Jim sees him at his friend's tombstones/duel disks.
> 
> So I started thinking about that, what if the Supreme King didn't take a full hold of Judai right away? What did Judai do during that time? The passing of time also gets a little blurry there so there's even more questions. I wanted to explore this time hole and so this story was created.
> 
> The story takes off from the moment Manjome dies, so the first part will be very similar to episodes 135 and 136, alas with some more introspection, seeing more inside Judai's head and the Supreme King manipulating him. Just a heads up for that. I took more freelance after the duel. 
> 
> Well this note was long. Hope you all like it!

As Manjome’s body disintegrated into a bunch of golden dust, Judai felt a chill run down his spine. What just happened? Manjome wasn’t dueling, why did he disappear? This didn’t make any sense.

-"Manjome!" Judai shouted. He saw his friend's image appear in the book of Wicked Cannon. "Manjome..."

-"Come," Brron started. "Attack me. Attack me more. The damage will be converted into letters of blood to be written in my Wicked Cannon. And it is them who will be inscribed in its pages!" Brron's unnatural eyes showed no ounce of remorse, his smile remained as cruel and heartless as when they started the duel.

-"If Judai attacks," Fubuki said, "the next one to disappear will be.."

-"I don't want that!" Asuka interrupted his brother before he could finished his thought. "Why do we have to be used as items in a duel?" She sounded so broken, nothing like the strong Asuka Judai's got to know the past few years.

-"Yeah, saurus! It's your fault, brother!" Kenzan exclaimed. He was so mad his eyes were losing focus. "Because you ran off on your own, don!"

Asuka was right. Kenzan was right. This had nothing to do with them, this was Judai's fight. They shouldn't have to suffer.

Was it really all his fault? He's doing all of this to find Freed's comrades, to rescue Johan. Johan had made the ultimate sacrifice to save him from Yubel and get everyone out of the other dimension. Judai was more than willing to do the same for him.

But sacrificing the others...

Brron's wicked laugh snapped him out of his thoughts. Judai felt a suffocating wave of despair run through him. It was so bad it knocked him to his knees.

-"It can't be...I..."

-"What's wrong?" Brron asked in an insultingly mocking tone. "Judai, isn't it? Do you have another action to take?" Judai could do nothing but stare helplessly at the floor, then at his enemy. "If not," he continued, "why not end your turn?" His laugh put Judai so on edge he felt like nails were scratching against a chalkboard.

-"Yeah, I-I end my turn." He muttered as he stood back up. There was really nothing he could do.

Winged Kuriboh appeared by his side, sensing his distress. The furry monster needed nothing but a look to speak directly to Judai's soul.

-"I'm sorry, Winged Kuriboh." He told his partner. He looked back at the field and saw his sole monster, Sparkman, standing ready to fight. "I'm sorry, Sparkman...I can't do it. I can't fight anymore." The words left a sour taste in his mouth.

But no. No. He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t duel. He couldn’t risk his friends like this. He refused to draw. Judai put a trembling hand near his deck, setting himself to surrender.

- _"But then you will die”_ a voice said inside his head. Judai stopped, trying to make sense of where the voice was coming from. This sounded nothing like any of his monster cards. It sounded like it came from his own soul. But at the same time, he wasn’t talking to himself…who was that?

- _“Tell me Judai. If you die, are you sure Brron won’t sacrifice your friends after you’re gone?”_ The voice kept going. _“What about Johan?”_ Judai gasped at the mention of his best friend. _“That's right. Who is going to save him if you’re gone?”_

Johan. The sole reason everyone was in this hellhole in the first place. Judai came here -and everyone followed him- to rescue Johan. He refused to believe what Brron had told him. Johan had to be alive. He still had not told him...

But if Judai gave up and died in this arena, what was going to become of him?

-"It seems you've taken quite a shock..but the duel will continue." The other voice inside of him settled as Brron spoke. As his enemy drew his hard, Judai felt the drops of sweat running down his neck. He couldn't battle, he refused to. But then what was Brron about to do?

-"Someone appropriate has arrived." Brron said as he drew a card. "Be reborn from the abyss of death. I summon Zure, Knight of Dark World!"

-"Zure!" Judai felt his stomach drop as he faced Zure once again. No, this isn't Zure. Judai killed him. This is Zure's monster card...

Then why was he looking at Judai with so much hatred in his eyes? What was this intimidating aura coming from him? Like he wanted to get back at him?

-"Zure! Repay him for killing you!" Brron commanded, his disturbing smile seemed to grow slightly bigger as he did.

And before Judai could react, Zure appeared in front of Sparkman and destroyed him with a swift movement of his sword. He felt the gash of the weapon right through his chest and he tried to hold back the sounds of pain that threatened to come out of his mouth as he saw his life points drop in his duel disk.

-"Brother! Are you going to abandon us, saurus?" Kenzan asked desperately. "If you don't beat him and save us, I'll hate you even after I'm a fossil, don!"

Judai was taken aback by Kenzan's words. Sure, the Ra Yellow student had fire in his veins, but it was never like this. This wasn't the usually harmless way he got mad at Sho when they fought. It wasn't even similar to how he became almost an animal with Cobra's electromagnetic waves. Judai had never seen Kenzan this mad, much less directed at him.

Could he even blame him, though?

What could he even do? At this rate Brron will just keep attacking him and decimating his life points until he lost the duel. But Judai couldn't attack him, that would just get another one of his friends killed.

He fisted his hand as it was shaking badly. Out of fear or helplessness he couldn't tell.

-" _You feel helpless because you're weak."_

Brron laughed again, knowing full well he had Judai in the palm of his hand.

-"It seems you're out of options. But I won't afford you something as pleasant as a quiet death." Judai looked back at his enemy with as much anger as he could. "You must continue to live while losing the trust of your friends."

The shock at hearing those words seemed to give Judai a boost of strength to stand back up. "What are you talking about?!" he asked.

Brron just responded by laughing maniacally and setting a card face down, sending shivers down Judai's spine.

-"What's wrong?" He asked with fake concern. "Go on, it's your turn. Or will you surrender and go directly to hell?"

Judai looked at his friends, bounded by chains. The emotions in their eyes. His resolve starting fading with each passing second.

- _"Are you that big of a coward, Judai?_ " It was that same voice from before. _"Are you that scared you won't even try to do something? Or is it that you know you're so weak you won't be able to do anything even if you do try? Why did you even come to this dimension in the first place when you can't even save your friends here, much less try and rescue Johan?"_

Judai closed his eyes, tried to collect himself and drew a card. He felt the air rushing back to his lungs when he saw it was Neos. He was always there when Judai needed him the most.

-"Judai," it was Neos speaking, "As a duelist, your destiny is simply to give all you have to win the duel. "

Neos usually knew just what to say to Judai to make him feel better. To get that boost of confidence that could propel him to victory. But not this time. All he could see when he closed his eyes was Manjome becoming golden dust and disappearing right before his eyes.

Manjome was dead. And it was his fault.

-"No...I can't attack again. I can't sacrifice anyone." He apologized mentally to Neos. For not being able to do what he told him to. But his back was against the wall.

Judai decided to just summon Avian in defense mode to protect his life points and end his turn. He heard Kenzan, Fubuki and Asuka sigh in relief. They live for another turn, Judai tried not to give it much thought to how messed up that sounded.

Even among an arena full of angry monsters demanding a proper duel, Judai could make out Brron's mocking laugh crystal clear.

-"If you're too spineless to do it, perhaps I'll have to force your hand." The confidence pouring out of Brron's voice. "I activate Continuous Trap Darkness Half!"

Judai had never heard of that card before.

-"In exchange for halving my monsters' attack points, I special Summon two Dark Tokens to your side of the field." Brron explained as the two said tokens appeared next to Avian.

-"What are you planning?"Judai demanded. "I told you I won't attack you!" The terrified looks on his friends' faces strengthened his resolve, even though he probably was almost as scared as they were.

-"But that's simply unacceptable" Brron dragged every word, clearly enjoying messing with Judai's head. "Regardless of your feelings the monsters will attack."

What?

-"I activate my trap card Dark Tournament!"

Avian suddenly set himself in attack mode, a red aura enveloping him.

-"With Dark Tournament activated, all monsters must attack." Brron explained

No, no, no...

-"Don't do it, don!"

-"Save us!"

-"Judai!"

The desperate pleas of his friends almost brought tears to his eyes, but he couldn't stop Avian now. And Judai watched in horror as his monster attacked Brron directly. Brron groaned in pain, but his sadistic smile never left his face

-"Don't do it....don't do it, Avian" Judai pleaded, but it was useless. At that moment, the two tokens attacked Zure, reducing even more life points from his opponent. Brron quickly recovered from the attack, but his face was completely twisted with madness. He was going to put Judai down and was enjoying it to the fullest.

-"Judai...your attacks cause Continuous Spell Wicked Canon to be repeatedly activated.

No. He's always been able to help his friends when they need him. There must be something he could do, some strategy to win this duel and save his friends.

No. This couldn't be...

Kenzan groaned in pain while the mark on his arm glowed brighter. "Brother! Why do you want to save Freed's allies so badly that you'd even sacrifice us, don?" he questioned desperately.

-"No! It's not like that, Kenzan!"The Slifer Red pleaded.

- _"Is it not?"_ the voice inside Judai asked in a defiant tone. Judai shook his head to shut it up, he didn't have time for this right now.

-"This isn't just physical pain." Seeing Fubuki like this shook Judai to the core. Even with his laid back behavior, Fubuki as always a constant pillar of support in his group of friends. Seeing him so scared and hopeless, covering his eyes with a trembling hand. It was like a completely different person had taken over. "It's the soul-rending pain of a friend's betrayal!"

-"To be betrayed and then killed by you..." Asuka couldn't even meet his eyes, she looked absolutely defeated.

He never wanted this to happen, no. He was trying to save Freed's friends and Johan-

-" _Exactly"_ that voice again. _"You were selfish and weak, Judai. You can't save them all, so you've made your choice. And it's because of that weakness that your friends will pay the price."_

What? No! He didn't want to choose!

At that moment, the symbols on each one of them were ripped from their bodies and they all became golden dust, their terrified screams still echoing the arena. Judai felt like the wind had been knocked out of him.

He failed. He failed his friends. They are gone now, and he couldn't do a thing to stop it. 

Was there even a point anymore? He should have never agreed to them coming here with him, he should have done a greater effort to protect them. If only he had not been so blinded by his need to save Johan to see the dangers the others could be under. But Johan...

-"...Super Polymerization!" Brron's exclamation brought Judai back to the duel. Super polymerization? What was that?

The blank card on top of Wicked Canon started taking shape...only to fade back to white a moment later. For the first time since the duel began, Brron's wicked smile faltered slightly.

-"Damn...so four of them weren't enough for this tribute?"

Judai gasped, he couldn't possibly be serious. "What? You killed them for the sake of that card?"

-"That's right" the lack of remorse in his voice was disturbing to say the least, "To completely revive the Super Polymerization card, I needed five people's word of wicked energy."

Judai's knees felt weak, he couldn't believe all of this happened for a damn card. It took all his remaining strength not to fall back on his knees again.

-"Ah, well. I wasn't able to acquire Super Polymerization, but I can activate Wicked Canon's power."Judai doesn't think he's ever wished for something more than for Brron to just shut the hell up. "The monsters I planned to use as Super Polymerization's components will be more than enough to defeat you. I banish Wicked Canon and all Sinister Doctrines and I summon Chaos King of Dark World....Reign-Beaux, Overlord of Dark World!"

As intimidating as Zure was, it was nothing compared to how Reign-Beaux made Judai feel. Probably for the first time in his life, he was truly, honestly scared of a monster card.

How did it all come to this?

-"Reign-Beaux, Overlord of Dark World attack!" Brron exclaimed. "Overlord Shockwave!". The monster produced a blast of dark energy, destroying Avian at once. Judai groaned slightly as he felt the pain of his life points going down.

He endured the hit, but he was honestly at a loss over what to do. His friends were dead, and he was going to die now, he won't be able to find Freed's comrades, to save Johan...

-"I switch Zure to defense position. Then I set one card and end my turn" Brron spoke in the tone of a man who knew they had won the duel. "Just lose already and go join your friends in the afterlife"

Maybe....maybe he should just...

- _"Pathetic. Why did you even come to this dimension if you were going to give up so easily, then? Well at least, you'll reunite with your friends."_ That voice again, sarcasm dripping from that last sentence. _"So this is how you die? This is how you end up?"_ It sounded frustrated now, defying. It was challenging Judai.

No.

This wasn't ending this way.

Brron was not going to get away with this. Judai was going to stop him.

He did his best to control his shaking hand and drew another card.

-"Uh? I'd thought losing your friends had stripped away your soul. But you still have the will to duel?" Brron asked with a hint of honest curiosity.

-"If I'm going to die, for playing with my friends' souls, I'm taking you with me!"

He felt his blood boil, his heartbeat pounding loudly in his ears. That bastard was going to pay, painfully. He was going to avenge his friends.

Brron laughed carelessly, and Judai's resolve only grew stronger. He didn't care what happened to him, but there was absolutely no way Brron was walking out of this duel alive. Even if it killed Judai.

-"That's the way."The Wicked Overlord sounded pleased with the reaction he evoked out of Judai.

Well then, he was going to love this.

Judai sacrificed the tokens to bring out Neos. Having his Ace Monster on the field immediately gave Judai more confidence. And this was just getting started.

He activated Common Soul and special summoned Air Hummingbird. He then used Contact Fusion to summon Air Neos. Brron scoffed when he saw the monster.

-"You're sending it to die with Reign-Beaux?" he provoked.

But it was Judai's turn to smile at Brron naivety, because he didn't know about Air Neos' special ability to raise its attack points to outmatch his monster. Judai sent Air Neos to attack Reign-Beux and Brron groaned in pain as the damage went through.

_-"More, Judai."_

-"I activate my Quick Play Spell Contact Out. Come, Neos! Air Hummingbird!" Judai was not done, he could still cause Brron even more damage. He sent Neos to destroy Zure and Air Hummingbird for a direct attack.

Brron screamed in pain. And after Air Hummingbird's ability gave Judai back some of his life points, he allowed himself to smile confidently. How the tables have turned.

But as soon as Brron caught his breath, he started laughing maniacally again. Judai's smile disappeared. "That's how it should be. On a field laced with anger and anguish, we hurt each other by instinct alone. That's how a duel should be!"

Judai braced himself, because his enemy truly looked like he was beyond himself with madness.

Brron revealed his face down to be Revenge Soul and he activated it to bring Reing-Beux back to his hand. At least it wasn't a trap that destroyed his monsters. Judai had nothing else to do but end his turn.

Brron used Dark Corridor to special summon Celri, Monk of the Dark World, in Judai's side of the field. Again? What is he planning now?

But then he explained Celri's effect, how Brron himself must discard one card....and what it allowed him to do.

-"When Reign Beux is sent to the graveyard by one of your card effects, I can Special Summon it!"

Not again.

-"Then Reign-Beux's next effect activates...I can destroy all monsters, spells or trap cards on your side of the field!"

No! he's going to-

-"Naturally I choose monsters" Brron said and then instructed Reign-Beux to attack. A beam of energy bursted out of the monsters' chest and caused an explosion in front of Judai. When the dust cleared, Air Hummingbird and Neos were gone.

The Slifer Red didn't have time to even brace himself before Brron ordered Reign-Beux to attack him directly. The pain was brutal, and Judai found himself on his hands and knees once again. He could hear the cries of joy and amusement from the monsters in the stands.

So this is it. He is going to die in this God forsaken place. After he got his friends killed and wasn't able to find Johan.

- _"Look at you, you're pitiful."_ the voice in his head started speaking again. _"You gave up already? So your friends died for nothing?"_

They died for nothing?

- _"You're so spineless you can't even win this duel for them?"_ It continued. _"That person in front of you killed your friends before your own eyes, are you really going to forgive that? I thought you had decided you were going to destroy him."_ The voice challenged.

No. He wasn't going to forgive that. Brron had to die. His friends' lives would not be lost in vain.

_-"And you're seriously going down without finding Johan? You said you would sacrifice everything to find him. What do you have left to lose, anyway? Or are you scared for you life?"_ the defiance in the voice made Judai's blood boil. _"Finish what you set yourself out to do, Judai!"_

The voice was right.

-"Manjome...Kenzan....Fubuki...Asuka." Judai found the strength to stand up again. "This is nothing compared to the suffering you endured. The monster that gained life through the sacrifice of your souls, there's no way I'll let it live!"

- _"Good. Let the anger flow. The anger will make you stronger, Judai. He killed your friends, he is not willing to tell you where Johan is. He doesn't deserve to live."_

Just like the voice said, he felt strong again. He felt like he could keep on fighting. He could fight until Brron disappeared into golden dust like he did to Manjome, Kenzan, Fubuki and Asuka.

He drew his next card. Oversoul. He took a quick look at the rest of the cards in his hand. This will do.

-"I activate my spell card O - Oversoul, and I special summon Neos. And Equip Spell Assault Armor. "

Judai could barely hear Neos' sounds as his attack points went up. His heart pounded louder than ever against his ears. He couldn't hear anything, he couldn't see anything except the enemy in front of him. And he wasn't going to stop until it vanished.

-"Overlord Reign-Beux, because of you, my friends...I'm going to make you pay!" And Judai was going to make good on that promise. "Neos, attack Overlord Reign-Beux! Wrath of Neos!"

His ace monster fled through the field and sliced Reign-Beux in half before it disappeared in an explosion. He couldn't see Brron in all the smoke, but he could hear the sounds of pain coming out of him.

_-"More. Make him pay."_

Yes, Judai didn't care anymore. Even if he got dragged to the pits of hell because of this, he was going to take Brron with him.

-"It's not over yet. I remove Assault Armor and it's effect lets Neos take another attack."

This took Brron by surprise, but as Judai sent Neos for a direct attack, his smile gained back its confidence.

Before Neos could strike, Brron activated Corridor to Dark World to bring back Reign Beaux. Neos stopped his attack and stood face to face with the monster.

But it wasn't going to work, Judai was done with that thing. Seeing it on the field again just made him even angrier, if that was even possible. He never thought he could hold so much hate for a card. He was going to destroy it, even if it came at the cost of Neos.

He was willing to sacrifice anything.

- _"Kill him, Judai'"_

-"I'll kill him, I will kill him! Neos!" He didn't even have to voice his command, Neos knew. He struck Reign-Beux and in resulted in an even bigger explosion that sent both monsters back to their graveyard.

And yet Brron still laughed, eyeing the sole cared in his hand. How dare he? Judai felt like his whole body was on fire, nothing could quench his fury.

_-"Make him pay."_

-"I activate my Quick Spell Battle of the Sleeping Spirits! We can both Special Summon Monsters during the ongoing Battle Phase. I choose Neos, go ahead and summon Reign-Beux."

And finally, finally, Brron's irritating smile was wiped of his demonic face. But it was not enough. Nothing he could do could bring back his friends, and so the need to destroy Reign-Beux remained. Anger still boiled hot inside of him.

-"Reign-Beux...Reign-Beux...Overlord of Dark World. No matter how many times I kill it, it won't soothe my rage. I'll kill it and kill it and kill it again!" Judai was beyond himself with anger. But he felt powerful, he was the one in control of the duel now. He was going to win this, even if this didn't bring back his friends, he was going to avenge their souls.

Brron was frozen in place, for the first time, he looked scared.

Then he revealed he couldn't summon a monster after using Corridor to the Dark World.

Check mate.

If he couldn't kill Reign-Beux again, then finishing off its owner would have to do. Without an ounce of remorse, Judai ordered Neos to attack Brron directly.

Somehow, he managed to laugh and sound scared at the same time when Neos delivered the final blow. Judai's hands very trembling almost uncontrollably, but this time, it was out of pure anger.

How is it that even now, when he finally defeated his enemy, Judai was still not satisfied? He would keep attacking Brron if he could and it probably wouldn't be enough.

_-"Good, you've imposed yourself, Judai. You're stronger now."_

-"A fine expression. Anger, hatred, anguish, sadness all within your unsated heart. Those negative emotions will continue to fester"Even at the verge of death, Brron sounded pleased with what he had accomplished.

Time for answers. Brron couldn't escape.

-"Shut up Brron. Where's Johan? Where are Freed's comrades?" He wished he could keep ordering Neos to strike the answers out of him.

Brron laughed as his body started to disappear. "I told you before, their blood had already soaked into the sand here. The boy named Johan is dead."

No.

No.

No.

-"Liar..." It couldn't be. "You're lying! Don't lie to me!" as much as Judai tried to make himself sound intimidating, he knew he sounded nothing like that. His voice was that of a broken person. A person who fought with tooth and nails and it was not good enough. Judai felt like his world was collapsing around him.

Not Johan. He can't be dead, he can't...

Though Brron lost the duel, he won in the end, he broke Judai. And his irritating laugh as he faded away was more than enough proof of it.

Freed's comrades. Manjome. Fubuki. Kenzan. Asuka. Johan. He was too late. He couldn't save any of them, he only managed to avenge them.

He was still breathing hard by the time he saw Jim, O'Brien and Sho behind him.

Sho! He's alive!

-"Johan, our friends...they're all dead?"He wasn't even trying to meet Judai's eyes. Hearing Sho speak it into existence made it all too real.

It was too late.

-"Yes, but at least I avenged them." Judai sent a silent thought, hoping it will reach his friends, wherever their souls may rest now. Telling them the monster responsible for their deaths had been punished.

But at least...

-"Sho, I'm really glad you're alive." Judai told his friend. But Sho looked at him without any sort of emotion in his eyes.

-"Those words are just lip service."His tone of voice was emotionless as his eyes. What did he just say?

-"Brother...you're really too selfish."Sho continued. "All you care about is getting your way. You don't care who you sacrifice, you'll do anything in the name of your goal!"Sho's tone kept rising until it was full blown anger. "Avenging them won't bring back the people you sacrificed...you're just dueling to satisfy yourself!"

Judai was speechless, Sho had never spoken to him like that. Was he saying he shouldn't have done this?

His shorter friend ran off and Jim left the arena to go after him. O'Brien walked off slower, but when Judai tried to turn to him for answers, his American friend told him to think it over for himself.

What did they mean? He tried to do everything he could! How could they say those things to him?

Judai had lost count of how many times he had ended up on his knees already.

-"Why? What did I do that was so wrong? I...I did the right thing and yet everyone keep leaving me" He didn't even care if the monsters in the arena were watching him break down. He just needed to voice out his feelings.

What is so wrong with him?! He had never felt so lost. He had always been able to come out of the duels fulfilling his goal...and now it was all wrong. He was alone. He had lost everything.

A gust of wind suddenly caused a blank card to fell right to his lap. Super Polymerization. It wasn't complete, because not enough souls had been sacrificed for it. He picked it up and started at it for a few moments. He felt disgusted by just touching it, his life had been ruined because of this damn card.

_-"Judai"_

This time, when that mysterious voice talked to him, Judai found himself in a dark room full of glass squares. He wasn't able to explain how, but he somehow knew this was inside of him. His mind, his heart or his soul, he wasn't sure. But it was him.

In the glass squares closest to him, he could see his friends and he watched them vanish one by one.

_-"You have to be willing to become evil to defeat evil. This world exemplifies survival of the fittest. And it must be ruled with power."_ The voice came from a shadowy place, and Judai could only vaguely make out a silhouette in the darkness.

-"Power? I don't have that much power" something about the voice compelled Judai to talk, like maybe this person, whoever it was, would finally be the one who understood him.

_-"You hold the Super Polymerization card in your hand. Defeat the spirits that stand against you. Breathe their lives into it, and complete the card."_ The person said alluringly.

Wait, was he saying he should kill others in duels to complete it? After what just happened?

-"Who are you?"Judai asked defiantly. He'd had enough of this person's tricks.

_-"My name is the Supreme King and I am the ruler of this world"_ He answered in an imposing yet monotonous voice.

Supreme King? Wasn't that they way the Harpies' brother had called him before?

Judai didn't have much time to dwell into that thought before he felt himself fade away.

\-------

When Judai regained consciousness he found himself lying on the floor of the arena. Exactly where he had last remembered being. Only this time the stands were empty, the monsters lining up the seats in his duel with Brron were gone.

Sho, Jim and O'Brien were also gone. But he guesses that after what happened he shouldn't really be surprised about it. More people he couldn't blame for walking away. He had let them down after all.

As he stood up he noticed there was something is his hand.

It was the Super Polymerization card. But instead of being blank it held a picture of something like a burst of energy and its description below. Just like any other card.

It was complete, but how? Judai doesn't remember ever doing it. How-

_-"Yes you did, Judai."_ He gasped. So that voice was real? The Supreme king? So that happened? _"Yes, all you remember truly happened. And you and I, we completed Super Polymerization. We did the unimaginable and created the greatest card this world has ever seen."_ Even though the voice stayed mostly monotonous, Judai could make out a proud undertone beneath it all.

-"What? Did I...kill someone? For a card?"Judai's voice trembled almost as much as his hands did. He suddenly let go of the card, that fell quietly to his feet. His eyes scanned his surroundings, and he was terrified to see several duel disks scattered around him. He suddenly felt very, very cold.

No, no he couldn't have. After everything that happened, he couldn't-

_-"Oh but you did."_ The voice of the Supreme King kept going. _"You finally overcame your fears and did what was necessary to control this world. You've taken the first step, now it's time for us to take our place as the sole masters of this dimension."_

-"No! No, you're insane!"Judai shook his head as hard as he could, trying -uselessly- to make the Supreme King's voice go away. He ran away from the arena, as if that could help him get away from that being. He had no idea where he was header but he couldn't care less. He ran and ran until his lungs were on fire and he had to stop due to how hard he was panting.

That voice, the Supreme King, he couldn't be serious. Did he kill those monsters in the arena? For the Super Polymerization card?

Sho's words echoed in his head:

"All you care about is getting your way. You don't care who you sacrifice, you'll do anything in the name of your goal!"

He was right. He got Manjome, Asuka, Kenzan and Fubuki killed. He lost the trust of Sho, O'Brien and Jim. He gave everything up to achieve what he wanted, to save Freed's comrades and Johan. And he couldn't even do that in the end.

Judai felt a sharp pain in his heart when he remembered the foreign student. Johan, who understood him like no one ever had before. Johan, who shared that intense passion for dueling that most people thought it was weird and shared a deeper bond with his monsters than even Judai himself. The one who sometimes knew what Judai was thinking without even saying it. The one who could play the role of leader better than Judai ever could. Johan, whose goal of bringing harmony between Duel Monsters and humans had inspired Judai when he felt he had no reason to duel. Johan, who never hesitated to jump into action and straight into danger if it meant helping him.

It had honestly surprised Judai how easily he realized his feelings for Johan were beyond those of a close friend. Given how his friends had told him he was hopelessly dense to human emotions. It wasn't anything big, there was no sense of relief or dread that came with the revelation.

He just woke up to get water one night while they were in the other dimension, and Johan was sleeping right next to him in the huge gym. He sat up and stretched a bit, tried to ignore the faint yet disturbing sounds of "Duel" coming through the barricaded door, and looked around to find Winged Kuriboh and Ruby cuddled between them, sound asleep. Judai smiled at the picture, and then he noticed Johan next to them. He was also in deep slumber.

Ever since Johan had taken on a sort of leader role to guide the scared students through these uncertain times -and accompanying Judai in his own quest to find the medicine for Rei- he was wearing himself out. Judai had caught him snoozing off during lunch time more often than not; and so he slept like a log at nighttime.

But it went beyond that. When Johan was asleep, it seemed like the weight of all the responsibility suddenly entrusted to him vanished from his face. The worried creases in his forehead disappeared, the tension eased away. He looked every bit like the 18 year old guy who was just meant to have an easy and fun exchange year overseas. Instead, he landed in this mess.

It was during that moment, with Judai contemplating the face of his sleeping best friend, that he understood. He was in love with Johan, as simple as that. Of course, it was so obvious.

Considering they were in an alternate dimension, with no knowledge of who had even brought them here, short on food, and with dueling zombies wandering outside the gym, it was a really odd time to come to terms with it. But then again, things were hardly normal when it came to Judai.

The Slifer Red chuckled as he stood up to finally get some water. He went back to his makeshift bed (really just a couple of blankets), and fell back asleep facing Johan, who still seemed lost to the world.

Before sleep took over completely, Judai figured he should just go for it and tell Johan how he felt. If he didn't feel the same, he trusted they would be able to stay friends. He knew Johan would never make things awkward with him and he would do the same. And if he, by any chance, felt like Judai...

But he would tell him after they found their way back to their dimension. It could wait for a bit.

But then Johan, being braver and more selfless than Judai ever hoped to be, sacrificed himself to save him and everyone else from Yubel.

And when Judai tried to pay him back, he had failed. He had always managed to come out with the victory and save everyone: Kagemaru, Saio, Cobra. Even though it seemed like all hope was lost, Judai always found the confidence in himself and his deck to turn things around and win.

But when he needed it the most, when the lives of people he cared about were on the line, he came up short. When he had to save the most important person in his life, he had failed. And he had lost everyone, allies, friends, and the boy he had fallen in love with.

Judai wasn't sure when the tears started falling, but now that he had taken notice of them they became full on sobbing. It got to the point he had to remove his red jacket and smash it against his face muffle out the sound coming out of him.

He eventually ran out of tears, and his breathing even back to normal. But he knew the pain in his heart would not going away anytime soon.

And he could feel that, somewhere inside of him, the Supreme King laughed. He could feel him, like he was anticipating something, but he wasn't sure what.

\-----

Judai somehow made his way back to the arena, it's not like he had anywhere else to go. Once inside, the memories of his duel with Brron flooded him like water through a broken dam. He looked to the upper floor where he had seen his friends chained down. Where they had spent their final moments imprisioned, scared, and upset.

All because of Judai.

He made his way to said floor, and he could finally make out the 4 platforms to which they were tied to. He saw the chains they used on them. Judai made every effort to not break down again right there and then.

But then he saw them. The duel disks. Those were the duel disks given to the students at Duel Academia. They belonged to his friends. He stared at them for a few moments, unsure of what to do with them. He couldn't leave them here, they were all that was left of Asuka, Manjome, Kenzan and Fubuki.

That's when it hit him. He knew just what to do with them.

Judai held them gently, trying not scrap them against one another, and headed out of the arena. He started walking again, and didn't stop until he apparently found himself on the edge of a nearby forest. The place was protected by the forest foliage on one side, and the mountain rocks on the other. This would be a good spot.

He set the duel disks aside, took off his jacket, and started digging in the dirt with his own hands. He kept going until his nails were black and his fingers were covered in a mix of dirt and a bit of blood. As bad as his hands looked, he surprisingly felt no pain from it.

When he finished, he had 4 considerable mounts of soft dirt, one next to the other. He took the duel disks and buried each one of them on a different mount. He couldn't really make out which one belong to whom, but at this point that was probably the least important.

4 makeshift graves, it was definitely not enough, this wasn't the sort of burial his friends deserved. There wasn't even anything left of them, not really. But it was the best he could do under these circumstances.

He stood in front of the graves for a while, and then he kneeled. He prayed for his friends' souls, so they could find some peace, even when their last moments had been so grim. He prayed for their forgiveness, even though he knew he didn't deserve it in the slightest.

And after he was finished, he dug up another mount of dirt, hidden between the rocks of the mountain. It was separated from the others, but still relatively close by. He had nothing to mark it down with, no duel disk or any other belonging of the person. But Judai would know.

He would know this is Johan's grave.

He kneeled down next to it when he was finished, also praying for the soul of his best friend. But he couldn't help himself and started crying once more. Judai didn't know what to do, he felt so helpless, so lost, so heart broken. He slammed his fist against the ground and watched as his tears fell on the dirt under him.

-"I-I'm sorry" he could barely make out what he was saying himself due to the crying. "I-I'm so sorry, Johan. You...you gave up your life to bring us all back home. You a-always had my back and you did so much for Duel Academia during your time there. Yet, I..."He tightened his fists until his knuckles were white against the dirt. "I-I could not save you!" his eyes felt like faucets that had been wide open, and it was only getting worse. "You died at the hands of that demon Brron, alone. Did you maybe...think I would not come to get you?" A new pang went through him at the thought of Johan thinking that, on top of everything, Judai may have forgotten him. That he had just stayed in Duel Academia while he rot in this God forsaken dimension.

-"I would never, ever, do that, Jo-Johan."Dammit were the tears ever going to stop? "I could never forget you, I-I would never leave you. You were special, Johan. You..."Judai took a deep breath to try and calm himself. "...you were special to me. I...I loved you. I loved you Johan, with all my heart."How was it that saying those words just felt like he put an enormous load on his heart, he could feel the pressure on his chest building up. "I loved you...but I could never tell you!"Judai felt so frustrated he started knocking his right fist against his forehead. "I couldn't get to you on time, I couldn't bring you back home. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Johan. This all happened because of me, you all died because of me."

He had no idea how long he stayed there, sitting next to Johan's grave. The crying stopped at some point but he stayed there for a while, thinking back of the easier days at the beginning of the year, in which his biggest worry was just winning his next duel, finding new monsters and having fun while doing so. When all of his friends were there with him and his friendship with Johan was beginning to bloom.

And now he had nothing, he was nothing.

At some point he walked away from the new burial site, but he wandered aimlessly until his legs gave out. He wasn't hungry, he wasn't tired, he wasn't dueling. He was just wasting away, a carcass of who he once was.

He kept this going for who knows how many days, yet every now and then, he went back to the graves of his friends. He was always able to make his way back to that place, no matter where he wandered off to. He went there frequently to pay respect to their souls, and prayed that they were resting in piece. He then made his way to Johan's grave, and after doing the same, he just sat down next to it. If he tried hard enough, maybe he could imagine it was Johan by his side, not just a mount of dirt. Sometimes there were tears, sometimes just numbness, sometimes the suffocating feeling of a hole in his heart. He left once he felt like he was under some sort of control, and started over again.

One day, as he stared at his friends' tombstones after spending some time praying next to Johan's, he realized just how empty he truly was now. Judai had nothing left, nothing left to fight for. His friends were either dead or had left him. The boy he loved and had promised to save was long gone. He had no purpose, no reason to live.

- _"Oh really?"_ It had been so long since he last heard the voice of the Supreme King, Judai had thought he was also gone for good. _"So you will just spend the rest of your days rotting away? Maybe dying at he hands of the first monster who sees you?"_

Judai wasn't planning on answering, when he heard a voice.

-"Judai...it's not.....fault" he thought he knew that voice. It spoke softly, and sounded like someone he's heard before. But it sounded muffled and far away. Judai couldn't make out who that person was, and quickly decided to let it go and walked away from the graves. Before he could dwell on that, the voice spoke again.

_-"Don't you see it, Judai?"_ The Supreme King kept going. _"This world took everything from you, it torn you apart? This world killed your friends, or chased them away from you. It took the life of the boy you loved."_

The thought of Johan only reminded Judai how much of a failure he was. How much of this was his fault.

_-"Are you just going to drown in your self pity? What happened to your revenge?"_ the voice was getting fired up.

Revenge? 

_-"Yes, Judai. Remember, the monsters in this world took everything from you, and it's time they pay for it"_

He's right. They took everything from him.

_-"Yes, they did. And you defeated Brron, but is that enough? Is that enough revenge for all the people they killed? For everything they've done to you?"_

No, it wasn't enough. They had to pay. Every last one of them, he had to make sure it happened. He clenched his fists.

_-"Remember how you were able to defeat Brron when you got truly angry? It made you stronger, you feared no one and nothing. And you've completed Super Polymerization"._ Judai took out his deck to find said card sitting at the top of it. He just stared at it.

_-"With that card we can take over this place, now you can get your payback. I can help you do it."_ He suddenly found himself once again inside the room with the glass squares. He was standing right in front of the shadowy figure he saw last time, the Supreme King. Even though they were at arm's length, he still couldn't make out his face. He saw the shadow extend his hand towards him.

_-"We'll get it done."_ The Supreme King said.

Judai hesitated for a moment when he saw the pictures of Sho, Jim and O'Brien in the glass squares. The only ones still alive. And they hated him for being so selfish. Maybe he shouldn't...

But then he remembered the screams of his friends as they were sacrificed by Brron. He pictured Johan, dying in that arena by himself. He remembered Cobra telling him he had no reason to duel, no burden on his shoulders to push him through. He remembered Professor Sato saying he lacked the darkness in his heart to make him stronger.

And his resolve came back.

He stretched out his own hand to shake with the Supreme King. He heard the other one laugh as he strengthened his hold on Judai's hand. The shadows started enveloping him, starting from his arm which was still holding the Supreme King's hand.

Regret started to sip into his mind, but before he could do anything about it, the shadows swallowed him completely.

And he was gone.


End file.
